Gifted Kids Gone Wild, w/ Luke the Producer

Rob Collie

Founder and CEO Connect with Rob on LinkedIn

It’s the last episode of Raw Data for 2021!  Thank you to all of our awesome guests for taking the time to tell their stories, and thank you to everyone that listened to us and supported this fun little thing that we do!

This week’s episode is a bit of a fun departure, as we peel back the curtain and talk a bit with Luke Pirozzoli, producer of Raw Data and Operations Manager at P3 Adaptive!  A story not necessarily data-based, but certainly as winding and different a path as any!

We have some great episodes already recorded to start 2022 with a bang!  Happy Holidays!

Episode Transcript

Rob Collie (00:00:00): Hello friends. This is going to be our last episode for calendar year 2021. We've looked at the data and the data's very clear. Podcast listenership falls off during the holidays.

Rob Collie (00:00:12): So today I thought we'd do something just a little bit different, little bit shorter, little bit of a lighter weight episode relative to our nearly two hour marathons we usually do and we're going to take a little bit of a peak behind the curtain and the subject.

Rob Collie (00:00:24): The guest of honor for today's show is going to be none other than our good friend, Luke Pirozzoli AKA Luke the producer. There's been a lot of talk on this show over the last year and a half about career paths, career arcs, career changes, accidental career changes, happy accidents usually.

Rob Collie (00:00:44): We're going to continue that theme today because Luke has definitely gone through one heck of a career change in the last year and a half, or has he?

Rob Collie (00:00:53): Also, in this episode, we do a little bit of a review, a little Power BI review of the written transcripts of all 50 plus episodes to date. We throw out some glamor statistics.

Rob Collie (00:01:06): And as a particularly outlandish bonus, at the end of this episode, the very, very end, you can hear the I think 11 minute audio of the one time that I called into Luke's radio show years ago. It's a little embarrassing. It's pretty funny. We'll let it roll uncut once the trailing music goes down, definitely stick around for that.

Rob Collie (00:01:26): So he's listening to me record this introduction right now. Now he knows what we're going to talk about. I hope he's ready for it. So let's get into it.

Announcer (00:01:34): Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:01:39): This is the Raw Data by P3 Adaptive Podcast with your host Rob Collie and your co-host Thomas LaRock. Find out what the experts at P3 Adaptive can do for your business. Just go to Raw Data by P3 Adaptive is data with the human element.

Rob Collie (00:02:02): Welcome to the show, Luke Pirozzoli? Pirozzoli? No, Luke, Pirozzoli, welcome to the show. It's a little bit ironic, isn't it? Because you're always here, aren't you?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:02:16): I am indeed. Hey, Rob. Hey, Tom. Oh. Tom not here.

Rob Collie (00:02:23): Not yet, anyway. Tom might be joining us midstream. So you're basically here for every minute that we're recording over the course of what was it? How many shows have we done now?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:02:33): What was it? 57, 56. What did I say?

Rob Collie (00:02:36): We're actually recording our 60th right now, aren't we? And I think it's got to be a little weird for you, being such a silent member of the booth for so many episodes.

Rob Collie (00:02:46): When until what? Semi recently, a year, year and a half ago, you were an on-air personality that did a lot of talking all day long every day it seemed like. Until late summer of 2020, what had you been up to professionally?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:03:06): For a great deal of my 20s and 30s, late 20s and 30s and even in my 40s, I was a radio producer in Southeast Florida. I think I've lived in five or six counties on the Southeast side of the state Broward-Palm Beach.

Rob Collie (00:03:24): Look at you world traveler. Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:03:27): Yeah. Just Southeast Florida. Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:03:30): It's like, there was that Johnny Cash song, I've Been Everywhere, man. But it's like your entire list is like cities in south. Like, there's a little corner of South Florida.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:03:38): It's all me. I am Florida man. Yeah. I've worked for iHeartMedia, formally Clear Channel, formally something else. But when I started with the company in 2003, it was Clear Channel at the time.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:03:55): And then it went to iHeartMedia and yeah. For 17 years, I was in FM Talk Radio, which is a fairly exclusive club. A lot of people do Talk Radio, a lot of successful Talk Radio, not a whole lot of FM Talk, certainly no FM Talk stations. And I was a member of that very elite crew.

Rob Collie (00:04:19): Yeah. And you broke into radio sort of the old fashioned way right. Decades ago now you're just sort of like hanging around the radio studio. Is that right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:04:27): So I was working for Mosquito Control in Indian River County. I moved to Vero Beach out of "college." I went to Gainesville, UF. Go Gators! For eight years. I got a two year degree, very proud of my statement.

Rob Collie (00:04:42): That's a 25% efficiency. Eight years, two year degree.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:04:49): I had a lot of fun. It was a very average student because I didn't go to class very often, but I was an entomology major for a while until I ran into organic chemistry. And couldn't rattle...

Rob Collie (00:05:03): That was the Boss Battle. That was the...

Luke Pirozzoli (00:05:05): Yeah. Boss Battle that I failed. I ran out of quarters.

Rob Collie (00:05:10): Just like, just grab the controller up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:05:13): I actually worked for the College of Entomology for quite some time. I had a fascination with insects.

Rob Collie (00:05:20): Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:05:20): Morphology and biology of... But the chemistry of what I needed to kind of fulfill the major was not in my cards.

Rob Collie (00:05:29): Think about all the different semi exotic backgrounds, educational backgrounds so many of our guests have had. We've had the marine biologist and the, what was it? Medieval archeologist.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:05:41): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:05:41): An entomologist, the bug guy. That'll take the Pepsi Challenge with some of these other things. Right? I do remember there being a point in your life where you're like, "Oh my God, man. I'm going to go do this radio thing. This is awesome."

Luke Pirozzoli (00:05:57): I just listened to this... I started flipping around the radio stations locally because that was before smartphones, and any kind of streaming services at all in 2000. That's when I moved to Vero and got that job. Yeah. County job was great job with great venues. I just wasn't happy. I was listening to this radio station that I found. This very dirty, very raw, very tawdry. And for a 27 year old me, I was like, "Oh, that's cool." I'd been familiar with Howard Stern and Bob and Tom, and like the Big Heavies. But these guys were local and I'm like, "Wow. Like these guys are right in the backyard. Like what?" And they're talking about these places that I wanted to go, like these bars and these clubs. And I'm like, "Yeah. Party me!" And my young self, I was single.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:06:40): I was making decent money working for the county. And, again, listening to this radio station, I wanted be a part of it. It sounded fun. The personalities were very funny. The callers were great. No topic was off limits. Listening, it was just fun. And so there I am, hanging around the radio station bothering the operations manager for about a year and a half. Actually, there's something else in there. A big piece of the story that I should add. I won a flyaway contest with the show called the Love Doctors on at the time it was Real Talk 927. And they had another little station that they added, 1017. And so they were flipping around frequencies, but always the Love Doctors, they had been a heritage part of the radio community for like 30 years. And these guys were funny. They were really funny. And they gave away this, you hear that dog?

Rob Collie (00:07:32): Yeah, that's fine.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:07:34): They gave away this trip that I happened to win. And the air producer at the time, Dano.

Rob Collie (00:07:40): Oh! Hey, Tom. Tom's jumping in now in midstream. He has no idea. He has no idea what we're talking about. Let's sum up. End of your podcast. I decided that we would feature Luke as our guest and we're getting Luke's bio, we're getting Luke's origin story, which is a bit different from others. We're right at the point where he's transitioning out of his, it was an eight year, two year degree in entomology, the study of insects.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:08:10): Correct.

Rob Collie (00:08:10): And he was working for the county in somewhere in South Florida, which is the only place that Luke is allowed to live. And he's listening to this alien voice that's speaking to him like God. It's these local radio DJs, these talk show DJs that are... They're local to him. What year is this, Luke?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:08:29): 2000. I found, I moved to Vero and then found the Love Doctors.

Rob Collie (00:08:34): Okay. So he's working in Mosquito Control for the county, which you wouldn't think would give him a lot of time for other ambitions and dreams, but it turns out it did. And so he's eyeing this radio job. Now you're caught up. You're digesting the story so far?

Thomas LaRock (00:08:49): If you could bring me up the speed, remind me who's Luke again.

Rob Collie (00:08:54): Yeah. He's the one that speaks 7% less than you on...

Thomas LaRock (00:08:59): That's not possible. I'm only at 6.9%.

Rob Collie (00:09:01): Oh yeah. I was rounding.

Thomas LaRock (00:09:07): Luke. I kid Luke, because he knows I love him. And he's awesome. And I think this is a great idea. So backing up a little bit, I'm very interested to know more about his origin story, but also the two of you, the origin story, and also the idea that, Rob, you've managed to hire and then fire, I don't know how many friends of yours throughout your life.

Rob Collie (00:09:29): Yeah. Luke does represent a suspension of my recently acquired rule of not hiring anybody that I knew beforehand. But yeah, when I first got into business like this, I think it's a reasonably common instinct. Oh, let's go get the band back together like in Blues Brothers, like we'll just go collect all these people. And it turns out that having a prior relationship is almost like a contraindication of future success working together.

Thomas LaRock (00:09:53): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:09:54): It's not even just like random chance. Like I think it's actually harder because those relationships, I guess, bring with them a history and expectations that don't really fit the professional world. I'm not even saying like expectations of favoritism or anything like that. I just think it started off as a personal relationship. You know the saying, "Liquor before beer and ever fear. Beer before liquor and ever sicker."

Rob Collie (00:10:17): I think it's cool to work together and become friends, but being friends and then working together is like kryptonite. In addition to not working out most of the time, you also almost inevitably torture a relationship along the way. I had gone cold turkey, I was clean. I was excited. I had gotten my P3 number of people that I had known before P3. People at P3 other than my wife, which, for obvious reasons that one stays. I had gotten that number down to zero. Ah, and then I was like, "Oh and oh. I think we might have to suspend the policy. Just for a moment."

Luke Pirozzoli (00:10:53): You wanted to start a podcast.

Rob Collie (00:10:54): That's right.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:10:54): And we were talking about my radio experience. We're also going back to 2003 when I started at iHeartMedia. And that's where we were discussing before you came in Tom. Obviously the 28 year old me, and you talk about it, Rob, how your younger self wasn't ready to do the things that you're doing now. Neither was my younger self. I didn't have the skills that you needed. I might have had the... Maybe the personality that would fit. But little else, I would imagine at the time, yeah. I just loved the concept of being a radio guy. It's a local celebrity at... Again, this is the mid to late twenties me.

Rob Collie (00:11:36): All right. So, Luke, at this point in your life, you're listening to this radio show and you're like, "Ah, I think I... This is awesome. Maybe I could even do this." I got to ask, were you like one of the regular callers at this point?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:11:47): I was a very irregular caller in that I didn't think my life was interesting enough in compared to the other callers. I mean, they had... Again, we're talking pre Janet Jackson Super Bowl where the FCC got involved in media. And so this local show and this local station was ridiculously hot talk. It was hot talk. Like Howard Stern at his worst. These guys were doing the same stuff only on a local level and slipping under all the radar, for sure. The FCC radar.

Rob Collie (00:12:20): It wasn't Bubba the Love Sponge, was it?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:12:22): No, he's a Tampa guy. We were very aware of Bubba, because I worked in Morning Radio in Miami for a little bit of my career as well. That was probably the peak of my professional status, I guess, because Miami's a pretty big media market. And More Morning Radio was pretty big.

Rob Collie (00:12:44): To show you how big Luke was at that time, I went down in, I think, 2017. Down to Fort Lauderdale to meet with a client. And I said, "Oh, why the heck not? Why not look up a couple of friends from down there that I haven't seen since early middle school?" That turned out to be mm, interesting. Right? That was an interesting thing. So these guys are hanging out in my hotel room. I haven't seen them in forever. These people were on the scene in my life at the same time Luke was, they overlapped. So these people knew Luke from back in the day. While I was talking to them, Luke even comes up in the conversation between the three of us talking about this guy that was this producer on this radio show in Miami.

Rob Collie (00:13:29): And it just was a random thing that came up and they didn't even know that they were talking about the Luke that they knew from back in the day. They had no idea that that was the same guy, because when I vanished from the scene, they lost touch with each other. And they knew like half of Luke's life story at that point. They're like, "Oh my God, we knew this and this and this and this." Right? And they didn't even live in Miami. They lived in the Fort Lauderdale area. So it was pretty funny.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:13:53): And that we were talking heritage radio stations or radio shows certainly in this show, the Love Doctors and the morning show that I was on. Paul and young Ron at the time. Now, it's just the Paul Castronovo Show. It was pretty cool to be a part of that kind of big time thing. I mean, all the biggest comics came through there. The biggest musicians, not that they would hang out with us, but it was just a big scene.

Rob Collie (00:14:19): For example, like our celebrity number, Tom, is down to one for a lot of celebrities via Luke, right?

Thomas LaRock (00:14:26): Oh, right.

Rob Collie (00:14:27): Like our Sammy Hagar number. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:14:30): That's Sammy Hagar. John Cleese.

Rob Collie (00:14:33): John Cleese.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:14:34): And it's pronounced Cleese as from the man's mouth himself. Because you don't say cheese, you say cheese.

Rob Collie (00:14:40): You don't say cheese.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:14:42): You don't say Cleese, you say Cleese. That's exactly what he said. Oh, man. Yeah. So I was an irregular caller. They had a segment where it was like one liners at the end of their show called the Quickies. I was a master at that because it was hit and run stuff. I would write stuff during the course of the day. I would listen to the show. I would do callbacks to something that happened early. And I would just have... It was hit or miss, but when I made them laugh, that was, for me, that was like, "Ah, yeah. Great." And they were giving away this Jamaica trip for several listeners. They were going to do... They were going to broadcast from one of the resorts down there. And I was one of the lucky participants in that trip. And I got to know the producer, Dano, and the guys a little bit. Again, for about a year after that I was emailing the operations manager, just like, "Give me a job. Anything, whatever. I don't care. I'll quit my awesome job and work for you for nothing." This was my mindset at the time.

Rob Collie (00:15:36): You're starting to sound like Jeff Sagarin. Constantly pestering the guy at USA Today.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:15:41): Yeah.

Thomas LaRock (00:15:42): That's awesome.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:15:44): But it's persistence. When you see something you want, I don't give up easily, especially when it's so attainable. And I knew I had maybe a room to expand some skills that I know I didn't have. I'm like, "Okay, I can learn all this stuff. It's just computers. Right? Computer operated software. I can do that. It can't be that hard. Right? I know some of the people that are already doing it. It can't be that hard."

Rob Collie (00:16:11): He's talking about the radio show now. He's not talking about Power BI and the...

Luke Pirozzoli (00:16:15): No, not... No, no. Exactly. And I'm one of the few people at P3 Adaptive that does not have the data gene. Does not like... My Excel use is probably less than some of your children and grandchildren, some of you listening.

Rob Collie (00:16:32): I want to point out that the data gene is not... Here's the thing. You might have it dormant and still just haven't encountered that kind of that Eureka moment where it lights up. Now, if you've been heavily exposed to data and spreadsheets and you just like are repulsed by them. Okay. No data gene for you.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:16:53): Is there anything in the middle because I'm not repulsed. And I do... I'm curious by nature. So all the data that's... Everything is data. I know this, especially in the last year and a half. I've learned so much about things, especially in the business world or not even in business world, just the world.

Rob Collie (00:17:08): I suppose maybe you can be heterozygous for the data gene.

Thomas LaRock (00:17:13): Oh.

Rob Collie (00:17:14): Whereas the most of us that like that "have" it, we're homozygous.

Thomas LaRock (00:17:19): Okay.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:17:20): So you're adding those two words to our Wordigami?

Rob Collie (00:17:23): Wordigami. Yeah. That's right. Heterozygous and homo.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:17:26): Please.

Rob Collie (00:17:26): Cha ching, cha ching. Increment the counter. I was going to do a distinct count of words. Like actual unique words used on the podcast. Because we have it in our transcripts. Right? I don't have that ready yet, but we are going to have that. Oh, we could do that. Like the beginning of every episode with 7,112 distinct words in use. We've really used the English language folks all 7,000 words ago.

Thomas LaRock (00:17:55): Oh, we have used it and abused it.

Rob Collie (00:17:58): Ah, yeah. I wonder. I wonder how many...

Thomas LaRock (00:17:59): Like sailors on shore leave.

Rob Collie (00:18:01): Now, I... So just as a little preview here for everybody. I mean, I have this Power BI model with not all of our transcripts, because not all the transcripts are done. Some of the more recent shows the transcripts aren't ready yet. Yeah. I have 50 transcripts in this Power BI model. Every word. It's really fascinating.

Thomas LaRock (00:18:17): That's post-production, you said?

Rob Collie (00:18:18): As post-production. Yes, that's...

Thomas LaRock (00:18:20): Because I want to know how much of my stuff's been left on the cutting room floor. Because I think you're keeping me down.

Rob Collie (00:18:25): We will never know.

Thomas LaRock (00:18:26): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:18:26): We're not going to provide you the denominator, Tom.

Thomas LaRock (00:18:29): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:18:29): It's unknowable. We're not going to send off the Raw files for transcription. I mean, that would just be a waste.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:18:36): It would be.

Thomas LaRock (00:18:36): Well, that that's the stuff that's going to get us in trouble.

Rob Collie (00:18:38): I don't know. I think though, it's likely that we cut me at a higher percentage than we cut you.

Thomas LaRock (00:18:44): Oh, I'm sure.

Rob Collie (00:18:45): Your percentage goes up in post-production I'm thinking. We need to get back to Luke's story. But let's just say there's been already kind of a running joke going on that started backstage and no one knows about it. Is that we've done an analysis of Tom's average mic time based on words spoken over the lifetime of the podcast and he's at 6.9%. 6.9% of the word spoken on this podcast. Now, by the way, this is not counting episodes that you weren't on. If you weren't able to make an episode, right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:19:19): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:19:19): We're not going to count that against your total. Our DAX takes that into account because we're serious. We're serious people here.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:19:27): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:19:27): And yeah. And I actually had to scratch my head for a moment. Because I was very rusty at DAX. I was rustier at DAX than I realized when I was doing this. All right. So you persistently break in through the Jamaica thing. Next thing you know, you're in this damn near 20 year career, right, of radio taking you all over the expansive region known as South Florida.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:19:49): Yeah. And I had been fired once. I've been laid off once and came back both times.

Rob Collie (00:19:56): I thought you'd been fired and laid off a lot more than that. Those are rookie numbers. You need to pump up. You worked in radio. You've only... Only fired one time? Laid off one time?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:20:06): For most radio people, that is the case because there is... It's funny. There's a saying, "you haven't made it in this business unless you've been fired at least three times." And there are people that move constantly. I was not willing to move away from my family to move across the country. I just wasn't... I wasn't down with that.

Rob Collie (00:20:23): I see. I see. So you're saying you quit radio before you've been fired three times. Like you didn't have the tenacity to stick with it now, did you? Only 18 years of it? You quitter.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:20:34): Yeah. I just... At some point, I was just like, "I can't... At this point, I can't do anything else. I can't. I've been doing this so long." Then I started getting worried. I'm getting older and I'm not... And radio really, terrestrial radio is not a up and coming business with a huge upside and a future. It really isn't.

Rob Collie (00:20:55): That might be the first time terrestrial has made it onto the show. I don't know. We have to go to the record.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:21:00): Cha ching.

Rob Collie (00:21:00): Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. If it had before it came from Luke, right? Terrestrial, meaning not satellite radio.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:21:08): Correct.

Thomas LaRock (00:21:09): But isn't all radio technically terrestrial. That's its origin.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:21:13): I can give you some email addresses where you can lodge your complaints, Tom, about what they call it. I'm sure they'll change it just to suit you.

Rob Collie (00:21:21): I mean, when the radio waves are up in orbit, they're not terrestrial, but they have to come down here for us to hear them. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:21:28): And their origins... He's right. Their origins are all terrestrial. Unless, we're broadcasting from some source.

Rob Collie (00:21:35): From the space station. Howard Stern coming at you from the ISS.

Thomas LaRock (00:21:38): Oh my God. I can't imagine shacking up with him for like a month.

Rob Collie (00:21:42): Oh yeah. Imagine. Yeah. Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:21:44): They shot Shatner and Strayan into space. Right? She started the space...

Rob Collie (00:21:50): All right. So there's all kinds of wacky things. At one point during your radio career, you won a local tournament, a satellite tournament, and went to the World Series of Poker. You were in the Main Event out in Vegas.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:22:03): Yeah. Before that... Yes, I was. Before that... In 2011. Before that I had won a pretty decent cash in an online tournament before Black Friday where the feds shut down Full Tilt and PokerStars and all the other poker sites for operation of the US. And it was a $200 buy-in, I finished, I think, fifth. And it was $25,000 and I got all my checks. Yeah. And then not too long after that, they shut it down. And anybody that had money in Full Tilt or PokerStars kitty, they lost it. I don't even know if they still were able to get it back to this day. And yeah. So I won that 25K and then I did win that trip to Vegas and the $10,000 Main Event buy in and I got bumped out on day two. My pocket kings got cracked pre... Like we were all in preflop. I had kings, he had tens and he spiked the 10 on the flop and I didn't draw it on them. So that was the end of that

Rob Collie (00:23:03): Yep. Ball game.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:23:03): Yep. What are you going to do? I'll never forget it for the rest of my life.

Rob Collie (00:23:08): You wake up in the middle of the night. "Tens! Tens!"

Luke Pirozzoli (00:23:12): Yeah. Yeah. What are you do? I saw one hand. I mean, I know. I kind of geek out on poker because I played a lot, especially online because it was so easy to cram in numerous games. And one of the guys had... He flopped a full house and he was up against quads. The other guy had quads, flop quads.

Rob Collie (00:23:31): I'm going to jump in here. When he says quads, he means someone had four of a kind.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:23:35): Four of a kind. A very, very good poker hand. Full house is a damn good poker hand, not as good as quads. Yeah. And it was crazy. Obviously the guy with quads knew he had it, but the guy with the full house is like, "What does this guy have? He can't have quads. He can't have it." Oh, what a brutal beat. That's way worse than mine. Way worse.

Rob Collie (00:23:55): Yeah. I want nothing to do with something like that. That sounds awful. Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:24:00): It was fun. But yeah, again, when I met my girlfriend and I live with her and her three kids. Now, my step kids essentially. They really are. I've adopted them as my very own. So I've kind of calmed down all my single guy lifestyle.

Rob Collie (00:24:18): No more late night cash games with the local police union, like in Rounders. You're not hanging out with Worm anymore.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:24:29): That's right.

Rob Collie (00:24:29): You got KGB, you got to watch out for him.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:24:32): That's right. John Malkovich.

Rob Collie (00:24:33): So no, Tom. Oh no, no. No data gene for this guy, but oh, he's got to be in there calculating probabilities on hands and all that kind of stuff, which...

Luke Pirozzoli (00:24:40): Fair enough.

Rob Collie (00:24:41): Kind of gives me the willies. I want nothing to do with that kind of thinking when I'm just sitting at a table and it just... No. Uh-huh (affirmative). So you're right. I wanted to do a podcast. Didn't know what I was doing. And by the way, folks, if you've been listening for a while and you're like, "Ah, this podcast sounds really good. The people on the podcast sound really good." Well, that's because of Luke. The intro, the outro, all the editing, the quality control. And, Luke, when you're doing all the editing yourself, which we're... I mean, we've been working very hard. I've been just absolutely beating you to get you to stop doing this all on your own while telling you at the same time, "But don't compromise the quality."

Luke Pirozzoli (00:25:25): Yeah. The ogres dilemma. Like what am I supposed to do?

Rob Collie (00:25:26): Yeah. For a show that we record two hours of audio and it ends up being like an hour and 40 minutes when we publish it. How many hours on average have you been syncing into that two hours of audio to create a show?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:25:41): Yeah, it takes about 12 to 15 hours per episode. And sometimes it's a lot less than an hour 40. I think it's closer to about an hour 20. I mean, data. I would say that it's closer to like an hour 20, hour 25 average time per episode. I know our Chase Hargis episode, our most recent one, was only 40 minutes.

Rob Collie (00:26:00): Snackable, by Rob.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:26:03): That's right. You should snack it. It's a great episode.

Rob Collie (00:26:06): Yeah. That's how much effort, right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:26:07): Yeah. 12 to 15 hours.

Rob Collie (00:26:07): 12 to 15 hours. Six to seven times the raw length of the audio. That level of perfectionism is much appreciated. I love it. And then I tell you, now we should do that, that same level of perfectionism, but in less time.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:26:24): Yeah. Well, that's where the wonderful world of outsourcing that you've introduced me to. And there's a vast...

Rob Collie (00:26:30): Oh, so wonderful. Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:26:32): Group of skilled people and some not so skilled that I'm finding out.

Rob Collie (00:26:36): There's skill and reliability. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:26:39): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:26:39): And delegating something that you have... This is in general, when you take something very seriously. Like when it's almost like a matter of honor and principle to you that it be excellent. That's one of the hardest things in the world to effectively delegate.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:26:52): Yeah. And that's the situation here. If I hear something that doesn't sound right, a raspy breath, some people have phlegm in their throat. Or there's a nose breathe or something I don't like the sound of something. I'll try and get it out. I'll at least try. If there's an um or an ah, or you know, or a like. We all do it. Very, very few people are able to speak without those words. And I get rid of them all. And it takes a long, long time.

Rob Collie (00:27:26): Although way to go. Giving away a secret. We all sound so much smarter than we actually are after you take out all of our hesitation.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:27:34): You sound as smart as you actually are. Every guest of... Every one of these folks are exceptional human beings.

Rob Collie (00:27:42): Oh, I appreciate that.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:27:43): That we got on this show.

Rob Collie (00:27:43): Luke demonstrating the principle of sometimes you have to lie to tell the truth.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:27:50): Even Tom. I feel that way about even Tom, I feel that way about him. High praise, sir.

Rob Collie (00:27:53): Oh, 6.9% of that time.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:27:57): Jigiddy.

Rob Collie (00:28:01): Every 10th of a percent matters when you're down in that range. Right? Okay. So wanted to do a podcast knowing sort of that I know nothing. I call you up and say, "Maybe we do this part-time." And then I quickly started thinking, "No, let's get you on full-time." And you had to get to the point where to suspend the rule of hiring someone I know. And no one told me I had to have this rule. This was a rule that I learned the hard way and sort of implemented for myself. Instead of making it my decision, I had to meet Kellan. Kellan, what do you think? Right?

Rob Collie (00:28:33): Because basically the question was, how long is it going to take him to produce an episode of the podcast? I mean, like we record for a couple hours, it'll take him what? Like 45 minutes to clean that up. I mean, he's not going to have that much to do. He's going to have room to do other things. Kellan got to know Luke and came back and said, "Oh yeah. We can use the hell out of this guy." And I'm like, "Really? Luke, you sure?"

Luke Pirozzoli (00:29:00): Tom referenced something earlier about our relationship, Rob. We also haven't discussed that you are my oldest friend in the universe. This is how I describe it. My oldest friend in the universe. Third grade. We were seven years old.

Rob Collie (00:29:14): Other than family, you're the person I have known the longest. That I still talk to. Yeah. Third grade, eight years old, Mrs. Lumbards class. Although, were we? I don't... Were we in the same third grade? Like homeroom?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:29:31): I don't think so.

Rob Collie (00:29:31): I had Lefkowitz for third grade.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:29:35): Your memory is way better than mine for certain. I know that we were aware of each other and started conversing, but we didn't really start clicking until we were in the same class.

Rob Collie (00:29:47): Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:29:48): I think that's when things just ramped up and then we started hanging out.

Rob Collie (00:29:50): That's fourth grade. That was the Mrs. Wenig years. That's back when my brain was still like accurately recording memories. The writing head has sort of gotten a little bouncy on the disc in later years. And, Tom, we were programming together. Not because we wanted to, but we were told to. Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:30:12): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:30:12): Before Halloween, I saw a Tweet that it... It just busted me up, which was on this Halloween. I'm going to go as formerly known as gifted child. And I'm just going to wear my normal clothes and people are going to keep coming up to me and asking me, "What are you supposed to be?" And I'll reply, "I was supposed to be a lot of things."

Thomas LaRock (00:30:40): I love that.

Rob Collie (00:30:42): So Luke and I were in this gifted class together, and this was a very almost like hippies seventies leftover thing. Right? Like this idea that I don't know that they even use this word anymore. Or if they have things like that anymore. I don't... My kids I don't think were ever even tested for such a thing. Seems like this has gone extinct. I remember in like first grade walking through the library one day and there was suddenly, there was this giant inflatable bubble and there was a teacher and like five kids sitting inside of it. And I was like, "Holy cow, that's awesome. Why don't I get to sit in a bubble like that? I've got to go learned stupid..." Like I knew what I was about to have to go do was going to be really boring.

Rob Collie (00:31:26): It wasn't going to be nearly as cool as sitting in this bubble. Right? And wouldn't you know it, I got tested a few weeks later. I was really resistant. My mom's said I had to go get tested. I'm like, "I don't want to take no stinking test. I don't want to go for a stinking test." But she could have just said, "Look, this is the test to see if they'll put you... If you get to go hang out in the plastic bubble." And I would've been like, "Aw, sweet." Next thing you know, a few months later I'm sitting in that bubble and all the other kids are walking by to go like study whatever boring thing they're about to do.

Rob Collie (00:31:59): And I'm like, "Ah, suckers." I don't know that it had anything to do with actually developing me in any positive way. I think all it did was give me some sense of exceptionalism that was undeserved. This is probably why they retired this whole concept. But so like basically every day, maybe not every day, but we'd get pulled out of our respective home rooms. It shows you how much they cared about the curriculum being taught there. Like we just totally take you away from it. It doesn't matter.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:32:28): You don't need it anyway.

Rob Collie (00:32:31): It's so pointless anyway. Right? And they would send us off to this other classroom to like have fun. Like holy cow, what a great thing. So Luke and I met under sort of like the most positively influential circumstances. Right? How can you not be happy while you're off doing fun things? It was like that hour or two of the day was usually better than if you'd been allowed to stay home.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:32:57): Yeah, definitely. And we also shared a love of role playing games, specifically Dungeons and Dragons at the time. And many, many others.

Rob Collie (00:33:05): Luke introduced me to this. Seriously. Again, snapshot memory. I remember we're walking through this one hallway on the way to the cafeteria in Morrow Elementary. And you're like walking next to me going, "Hey, you ever play Dungeons and Dragons?" And I'm just ignoring you. I'm just flat out ignoring you.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:33:23): Well, I've gotten used to that over the years.

Rob Collie (00:33:25): I want nothing to do with it. I'm just like... But I'm not even turning around and answering your question. Like, that's how derisive I am. I'm like an eight year old blowing you off. But you, just like with the radio station, you kept persisting this Dungeons and Dragons thing. So I wasn't into it until...

Luke Pirozzoli (00:33:46): Until I wore you down.

Rob Collie (00:33:48): Yeah, that's right.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:33:49): I just wore you down.

Rob Collie (00:33:50): And boy, did I take to it? Oh my God.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:33:53): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:33:54): I've actually played some Dungeons and Dragons with my kids. Like years ago. They really loved it. They were really into it up until about the time they got a hold of their smartphones.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:34:05): Yeah. That makes perfect sense.

Rob Collie (00:34:07): And the same thing with the Xbox. Dungeons and Dragons is a cool thing to do if you don't have an Xbox.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:34:14): Like a game like Skyrim, or Skyrim, or whatever you call it, or Warcraft or any of the games that we're into now. It's like that in another dimension. It's another level of reality and the imagination has gone sadly.

Rob Collie (00:34:27): Yeah. Yeah. So regular classrooms in this school that we were at, they might have had one computer in them, like one Apple or two, but probably none is my memory. I don't remember there being any, but in this gifted classroom, there were like 20. They had us programming, like an Apple BASIC. They had us programming in a thing called Logo, which is a turtle that you tell to move around the screen with a pen that can... You can tell the... You have like pen up and pen down commands. So it's kind of almost like Etch A Sketch that you program.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:35:03): Too bad they didn't teach you Python.

Rob Collie (00:35:07): Yeah. Yeah. I know that would've changed everything. Wouldn't it? I mean, yeah. You got to ease people into these things. So that was the origin story, but then eventually I moved away. Right? Then we kept in touch. We see each other in the summers, things like that.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:35:19): Yep. My dad would, because he's too cheap to fly us. He would drive, he would come down from Tennessee and pick us up in South Florida and then he'd drop us back off at Rob's family's house. And I would hang with them for like a week or so.

Rob Collie (00:35:32): Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:35:33): Yeah. And we always maintained touch. It was sporadic at certain periods of our lives, but we always managed to get together and we always managed to catch up throughout the years. And it's hard to do sometimes with some of your old friends and you're working at Microsoft. We had talked through those years. I didn't know. It was as eye opening and challenging and crazy as I'm learning, listening to every single one of these fantastic podcast offerings.

Rob Collie (00:36:01): Yeah. Gifted class in third grade is where I learned to think I was special. Microsoft is where I learned to think I was not.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:36:07): How about that? I knew you were also starting Power Pivot Pro at the time in 2013 and later turned into P3 Adaptive. I knew about it, but I didn't know how incredible the tools were. I didn't know how incredible the people were. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew podcast editing and I know people.

Rob Collie (00:36:30): It's a gateway drug.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:36:31): Yeah. It is. It really is being in talk radio for all these years. Talking to all these people over time. I hope I've filled the holes that were required thus far.

Rob Collie (00:36:41): Hey, Luke, can we cut that part out? Just kidding.

Thomas LaRock (00:36:47): Yeah. Just kidding. No, we're going to leave the part where we talk about Luke filling holes.

Rob Collie (00:36:51): Yeah. That's what he does, man. It doesn't matter what size, shape, whatever. He's in there.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:36:55): That's right. That's right.

Rob Collie (00:36:57): So as time has gone on Kellan has proven correct. Because you've been taking on more and more things. When he got to know you before we hired you, he was like, "Yeah. Okay. He's a podcast guy. Great. He's an audio guy. He's a producer. But he's also, he doesn't know it. He's also an operations guy and we're going to use him on the operations side of the house." And I'm like, "Oh yeah, I don't understand any of that operation stuff. That sounds great." That's the stuff you're really good at and I've proven to not be. So fantastic. It's all a mystery to me.

Rob Collie (00:37:30): One of the general themes that I really, really like about our team is that most people come to work for us, they don't change what they're doing. Most of the people we hire are consultants. Most of them weren't consultants before, but they're at least Power BI wizards and they continued to be that afterwards. Right? Your arc is that you're now doing things that you've never done in your career. There's some things that you're working on now that two years ago, you'd probably have been like, "I'm going to be doing what?"

Luke Pirozzoli (00:37:58): Yeah. Never heard of the tools, some of the software that we use, and the things that we use. It is just... It is. It's all new to me. And we talk about the imposter syndrome thing and I'm not a consultant in that space, but I'm still in... I have it. I've had it for a while and it predates me coming here. I'm sure of that, but yeah, definitely exposed to a whole new realm of tasks and things that I do. And including kind of retooling our security operations, the whole URL change that we did.

Rob Collie (00:38:37): Yeah. You're a project manager on the switch from the to

Luke Pirozzoli (00:38:44): Yeah. And, of course, I'll give Alex, our web dev, major props because he busted his hump to get that done. He did most of the heavy lifting. I just kind of made sure that we had everything under control.

Rob Collie (00:38:56): Yeah. But technical project manager for two relatively massive... Hey, guess what? You're learning what IT is like. Right? It's thankless. I mean, when it goes right, no one notices.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:39:13): Yeah. It's true. And in this incorporating something new and kind of rolling something new out, it's still not quite right yet. That's what's so great about the team. They're not able to do certain things, but they're not like, "Oh my God!" Nobody's panicking. Nobody's freaking out. Nobody's angry. They're just like, "Ah." And they know I kind of... The way I am. Everybody that sends me a message is my first priority. That's kind of how I operate.

Rob Collie (00:39:42): Sounds like you're vulnerable to a denial of service attack. Everyone's listening to this now like, "Oh, I know what to do. I'll just send them a couple of emails."

Luke Pirozzoli (00:39:52): Well, depends on who you are and you got to move the company.

Rob Collie (00:39:54): It's Luke P at P3 Adaptive, folks. If you want to completely gum up the works, just send him an email and ask him to calculate the first 45 digits of Pi by hand in binary.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:40:07): Yeah. I love hearing from new people.

Rob Collie (00:40:10): Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I asked Kellan recently. I'm like, "I didn't have any reason to distrust you, Kellan, when you sort of screened and interviewed Luke. Now that you've kind of proven correct, Kellan. Like he's doing things that you thought he could do for us. And it's going really well. Like now, I'm actually interested. What was it that you saw?" And his answer was like, "I've been running into people like Luke, not frequently, but enough of them over the years that you just sort of know them when you see them." I'm like, "Okay. All right. Well, I mean, that still doesn't really answer my... But it satisfied my curiosity." Yeah. I just asked him that recently, by the way. But the one thing that is, I think, common...

Rob Collie (00:40:50): Well, first of all, you mentioned imposter syndrome, which if no one's determining says this before, like imposter syndrome is an inevitability. All you need is integrity, and then to be in a relatively high performing environment. That's it. Integrity plus high performing environment and imposter syndrome is you should like mathematically, like do the algebra and out comes the imposter syndrome. But hey, like you said, you have been the face of rolling out Intune at our company. You should be hated, just absolutely despised. I'm going to roll out this thing that makes it sometimes impossible to log in. It's going to... It's really going to mess your shit up.

Rob Collie (00:41:33): And if all goes well, all it will do is prevent something. We'll never have the problem. We'll never know that it saved us.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:41:41): Yeah. And that's true. And so far it's been a great tool and kind of give credit to the freelancers that we hired. They were very good. Initially I had an individual that he was good, but he also he thought he could do it. And he couldn't because he had so much other stuff going on.

Rob Collie (00:41:59): Yes.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:42:00): And we needed something done rather quickly. And so I had to jump off of him, but I almost screwed myself because I waited too long to make the decision to move to another individual.

Rob Collie (00:42:13): Oh, yeah. That's tough. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:42:14): Almost screwed us.

Rob Collie (00:42:15): There's lessons... Right. There's lessons to that, right? That's the problem. That's why people are so hesitant to hire a data consulting firm.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:42:23): That makes sense.

Rob Collie (00:42:23): By the time they reach the point where they've realized that it's not working out, it's going to be too late. And people are sort of like pot committed at that too. You just sort of got to write it out and you got to write it out in a really, really awful, terrible self destructive way. And so yeah. Hiring a consulting firm, it's like you're inviting someone into your house and nine out of 10 chance. It's a vampire.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:42:53): I would imagine there's a lot of research and maybe sometimes not so much. I'm sure it would surprise me how many companies make a decision like that to go with a consulting firm without really doing a heck of a lot of research. I would hope not, but I don't know.

Rob Collie (00:43:10): Well, I mean, I don't know. It's not quite nine out of 10, but at least four out of five of the external vendors we've... Professional services, companies that we've outsourced things to have been a mistake. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:43:23): Yeah. I mean, how do you know that? You do your research and you talk to them and they don't deliver what they say they can deliver. It's like, what the hell happened?

Rob Collie (00:43:34): We come in peace.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:43:35): Yes.

Rob Collie (00:43:35): P3 Adaptive. We are not here to drain your blood.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:43:37): No doubt.

Rob Collie (00:43:39): All right. So this "short" little episode is as usual running really long. We promised the people some stats. One of the things we do here. And when I say we, someone other than me, feeds every finished audio track, every audio recording of the show to a transcript service and they do a great job. The transcripts are really good.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:44:03): Should I give them a plug?

Rob Collie (00:44:04): Yeah. Who is the transcript service?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:44:06):

Rob Collie (00:44:07): All right. They do a great... This is the first time we've ever had, what resembles an ad in our podcast. And if you go there and you use the code "raw". You'll get a 0% discount.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:44:23): They do a pretty good job and a great turnaround.

Rob Collie (00:44:25): Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:44:26): And they... Well, I mean, and I'll say this, and I told their reps the same thing. Their automated service, meh. Their live humans, very good.

Rob Collie (00:44:33): Yeah. It turns out humans still needed.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:44:36): Yes, indeed.

Rob Collie (00:44:37): I mean, especially a podcast like ours with all the weird phrases that get used and everything. All this insight, baseball sometimes.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:44:43): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:44:44): Plus I'm a weirdo. So we have all these podcast transcripts, and guess what? They're in dot text format. Oh. So you know what we can do? We can feed them through Power Query and puree them and bring them into a Power BI model. And all of this has happened basically over the weekend. The idea came to me late in the week. I did need some help. Ed Hansberry on our team came up big for me a couple times. And then, of course, I'm really rusty at DAX. Mark Beetle had to catch a DAX mistake. I'm like, "I know something's wrong here, but where is it?" I feel like I'm one of the students in a class I used to teach.

Rob Collie (00:45:19): Right? We're going to be publishing some of this. I think so watch the Raw Dat, Twitter account, watch my Rob Collie Twitter account, and watch the P3 Adaptive Twitter account while you're at it. We've got a family of accounts here. 53 of our shows have transcripts at the moment. And I think that's 53 out of 59, or 53 out of 58. We have a few that for various reasons, we haven't got transcribed, but in the 53 transcripts we have, again, let's do #meaninglessanalysis. Ready? A lot of Power BI. I was texting today with Dave Gainer. Dave gainer, who was on our podcast. He sent me a quote or a thought. I'm not sure if it was something he thought of or whether he's quoting something. Because he's always sending me quotes.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:45:57): He's a quote guy.

Rob Collie (00:45:58): Oh no, he read a good one. Happiness is an expression of the soul in considered actions. And I had just sent him a picture of the Wordigami word cloud for his episode. And I said, "Oh, perfect. Me subverting sophisticated industrial strength tools for the purpose of making Wordigami word cloud visuals is very much an example of that." Happiness is an expression of the soul and considered actions. There you go.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:46:26): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:46:26): So this meaningless analysis is brought to you by happiness.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:46:30): Aw.

Rob Collie (00:46:31): And by the way, these analyses shouldn't be possible. Power BI is not designed to do this kind of thing. It's like a kryptonite task and it's a layup. Power BI just blows it out of the water. No problem at all. It's unreal. I'm like having trouble sleeping, because I'm thinking about, "Oh, I could add that feature to the model." I'm back, but I'm...

Luke Pirozzoli (00:46:52): And that's typically how it goes, right? When you're building something, and this is coming from a person who does not do any of this, as we've covered. That's a typical kind of process where you start realizing things that it can do along the way as you're building something.

Rob Collie (00:47:07): Yeah. You're peeling the onion of possibility. There you go. There's an original.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:47:10): I like that.

Rob Collie (00:47:10): There's an original quote. That was the first time ever.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:47:13): Write it down.

Rob Collie (00:47:14): Brand new sentence, as they say on Reddit. Okay.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:47:17): And you also... By the way, you also did this, as you mentioned. You were thinking about it and over the weekend, like a two day period of work, and you and a couple of other members of the team that you had to tag in briefly.

Rob Collie (00:47:28): Yeah. We're recording this particular segment of this show on a Sunday. It's going to go live in a couple of days. The entire Wordigami word cloud happened today. I was able to do that with no help.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:47:41): That's amazing. And so another kind of uneducated question, why would this... You said early that it shouldn't be possible or it shouldn't be used for this or something along those lines.

Rob Collie (00:47:53): At its DNA, Power BI is a numerical aggregation tool. You take rows of data that have digits in them and you're performing things like sums and averages. And then you get really fancy and you start doing filtered and trended versions of those same calculations. Just to give people an idea here. So in those 53 transcripts, there are 781,355 words.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:48:17): That's almost a million.

Rob Collie (00:48:18): Yeah. If you extrapolate that from the fact that we're missing a few episodes, transcript wise, we're well over 800,000 words spoken on the finished podcast. Now, of course, the cutting room floor probably has a couple hundred thousand words. Right? That got cut out of, for sure. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:48:34): No doubt.

Rob Collie (00:48:34): So we've definitely spoken over a million words, but thanks to you, the audience has been spared that 200,000 word cruft.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:48:43): They weren't ready for all of those words.

Rob Collie (00:48:46): They weren't. And so many of them are like, blah, blah, blah. Like um's and ah's and stuff.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:48:51): Sure.

Rob Collie (00:48:52): So to do the kinds of analysis that you're about to hear, some of them is a little bit more straightforward. So for example, 321,000 of those 781,000ish words were spoken by me. If you're using Power or Query to count the number of words in a sentence, which is sort of how the original version of this model works, now you've just got a number and it's got a person's name next to it. And so it rolls up really easily, right? And so you can really quickly find out what my total is. And you can find out that I speak for 41.2% of the air time of the show. If you just base it off of word count, which is I'm sure a very, very, very good approximation of air time. Right? And I was concerned...

Luke Pirozzoli (00:49:32): Oh yeah.

Rob Collie (00:49:33): I was concerned when I was running these numbers that I was going to find out that I was like 65% of the air time, and I wasn't letting guests talk. But 41,2% and Tom at 6.9%. So even combined, the two hosts are under 50%.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:49:47): A great number.

Rob Collie (00:49:49): But the place where it gets tricky is when you start talking about word uniqueness, right? So these aren't sentences with numbers anymore. Right? It's like the actual words matter. So Hugh Millen is the champion in one sense, which is 109 of the words that he spoke on his podcast episode were and are completely unique words in the history of the show. No one else has ever used any of those 109 words before him or after him. And if he said it and I repeated it back to him, it wouldn't count. It wouldn't be one of the 109. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:50:22): Okay.

Rob Collie (00:50:25): Like to do that analysis is nuts, right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:50:29): Like to think to do it or to actually do it?

Rob Collie (00:50:33): I mean, okay. So on the one hand, I knew that Power BI could do it before I started.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:50:36): Okay. That helps.

Rob Collie (00:50:38): But like the fact that... It's just like every now and then you use the tool for a purpose that's so far outside of its original DNA. Its original origin story and it still just breezes through it. And you just sit there and it's just amazing. I haven't had this feeling for a while because I don't get to use the tools nearly as much as I used to.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:50:57): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:50:57): You almost feel like you're inventing something, right? If you're working with a tool set that allows you to feel like you're inventing, that's pretty awesome. It's a real testament to just the incredible nature of the tool set. And it did not bog down.

Rob Collie (00:51:12): Like if you think about it in a really dumb sense. If you have 800,000 words and you need to compare one word to all the other 800,000 words, but you need to do that for all of the words, you're constantly having to do 800,000 squared.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:51:26): Ooh.

Rob Collie (00:51:26): String comparisons, which would just melt your machine every time you click the filter. But the thing is just like, "No. No big deal. I got you." You make a click and it's like, "Yeah, lay up. Here you go."

Luke Pirozzoli (00:51:37): Just handles it.

Rob Collie (00:51:38): "Here's your new results." Right? Going into unique words. The reason for it was because of our now ongoing Wordigami joke. Like when someone says a word on the show, we're like, "Ooh, big word. Fancy." It's the first time we've ever heard the word on the show, Wordigami. We now have the technology, folks. We are going to, if you go look at our Twitter account. You're going to be seeing.... Already. We've already... Some of these have already been shared. We're going to be showing the Wordigami word clouds for words that were first used on a particular episode. Now, if they're used later, fine. That original episode still gets to claim they were the one that introduced it and their Wordigami word cloud will have that word in it. And the subsequent episode won't. So it gets harder and harder to score a Wordigami over time.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:52:18): Yes, it does. And that's what... That was my question. It seems like the first episode or the first handful would have the distinct advantage.

Rob Collie (00:52:24): Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:52:24): Hugh's episode, I think, was in the top, like the first 10 maybe. I don't remember.

Rob Collie (00:52:28): Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah. So, even in the chart that I've shared privately behind the scenes with y'all, I filtered out the first few episodes. It just skews the entire chart. Someone gets to be the first person to use the word the.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:52:38): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:52:40): Nope, that shouldn't count. But also to make the word cloud more interesting. This is where, again, where things get even crazier. I found a premium source of data that examine like a billion words of random sample of English language and ranks the top 60,000 root words. And I think the top 200 and something thousand words in terms of their usage within the English language. So when you see us posting these Wordigami's, the words that show up there... First of all, were never used on a previous episode. Secondly, the sizing of the word is determined by a very proprietary formula that blends the rarity of the word in the English language with the number of times it was used in the episode. So rarer words get a bigger representation in the word cloud than really common words. That just happened to be the first time it was used. Right? So like archeology, it looms large in Donald Farmer's Wordigami.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:53:41): Yeah. That makes sense. That does make sense.

Rob Collie (00:53:45): Yeah. Goblin, I think, was only maybe used once, but it's in there. It scores highly. So it's impressive. We might even do some blog post, something to talk about sort of how this was all put together. It's a neat little model.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:54:00): The output is cool too. It's pretty. It's really cool.

Rob Collie (00:54:03): That's what Power BI does, man. It makes the stuff pretty. Other thing I was going to share is that in terms of airtime, the guests who have consumed the most airtime. Here's the top five. Shishir Mehrotra, 76.2% of his episode was him speaking.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:54:20): That blows my mind.

Rob Collie (00:54:21): Yeah. John Hancock, 74.6. Chris Rae, 71.4. Jen Stirrup 66.0%. Chandoo 65.6%. So the top five are all founders or co-founders of their own business.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:54:40): Ah.

Rob Collie (00:54:40): Kind of interesting. Right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:54:41): Maybe more assertive individuals.

Rob Collie (00:54:43): And It might be, you get used to it, right? You get used to talking if you found your own business, even if you don't want to, it's going to come for you, right?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:54:50): Yeah. You can't avoid it. Right?

Rob Collie (00:54:51): But also, in a way, the companies that they found are like ways of expressing an idea and a feeling that these people had. Expression sort of was there before even the company happened. And so it makes sense, I guess, in a lot of ways. Right? But it was neat to see that. That's not random.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:55:10): That is a deep analysis, Rob. That's pretty good. Like I never would've thought that.

Rob Collie (00:55:14): The next four are all, in terms of airtime, are all current or former Microsoft employees. Adam Saxton, Donald Farmer, Denny Lee, Chris Finlan, and Jeff Sagarin rounds out the top 10, which is amazing. That was a two guest episode. There were four people talking on that episode, two hosts, two guests, and he still pulled down 61.9% of the words in that episode. Rebounds. He's a rebounder. He's pulling down those words. It's Sunday evening, this is the holiday week addition. We should go spend some more time with our families. Luke, I appreciate you jumping in here for the final bit on a Sunday. And don't forget as the music trails off at the end of this episode, Rob calls the Love Doctors from what like 2018, maybe 2017. I think it was '18.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:56:01): Yeah, that should be right in there.

Rob Collie (00:56:01): I think it was 2018.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:56:03): Yeah. What a great moment.

Rob Collie (00:56:05): Yeah, it was really funny.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:56:06): Thanks for listening to the Raw Data by P3 Adaptive podcast. Let the experts at P3 Adaptive help your business. Just go to Have a data day.

Dano (00:56:20): As promised.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:56:21): Yeah, my buddy's on.

Dano (00:56:22): We welcome Luke's childhood friend, Rob, to Real Radio and welcome to the Love Doctors, Rob. What's up?

Rob Collie (00:56:29): Howdy everybody. How are you?

Dano (00:56:31): Howdy, Rob.

Dr. Glenn (00:56:31): All right, Rob.

Dano (00:56:32): Great to hear from you, man. And thank you for calling in. We were telling stories. I don't know if you've heard the story. I'll give you the in brief on this, Rob. There was a 16 year old girl who was debating back and forth nervously about jumping off a 60 foot tall bridge into some water below and her 19 year old friend wasn't having her indecision. So she pushed her off of that bridge. Well, that girl that...

Rob Collie (00:56:54): Ah.

Dano (00:56:54): Do you remember the story? Did you see the story?

Rob Collie (00:56:56): I have seen this. Yeah.

Dano (00:56:57): Okay. The girl that did the pushing, the 19 year old teenage girl was sentenced yesterday or Wednesday to two days in jail and 35 hours of work, community service. She's got to do some work involved with that, Rob. But I thought to myself, let's tell the worst things you've ever done to a best friend story. And wouldn't you know it, Luke was the first to pony up with the story. And my apologies. How is your site nowadays?

Rob Collie (00:57:28): Oh, my site's okay. Because the eyeball is mercifully spared, but it's more the psyche.

Dano (00:57:35): The mental scarring.

Dr. Glenn (00:57:36): Oh, no.

Dano (00:57:37): The mental scar you've carried all these years and night sweat, night terrors. I'm not making light of the PTSD out there by any means, but, I mean.... You need medication for what you did, Luke, to your friend.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:57:50): We won't even get into the bed wedding, Rob.

Rob Collie (00:57:52): You SOB.

Dano (00:57:52): Oh man.

Rob Collie (00:57:52): Really?

Luke Pirozzoli (00:57:55): No! This is me apologizing, man. This is me apologizing.

Dano (00:57:59): That's a hell of an apology. You just said the guy wet his bed.

Dr. Glenn (00:58:03): He probably still does.

Dano (00:58:05): Rob, did you get a physical scar on your face from it?

Rob Collie (00:58:09): I was told this was going to be a healing.

Dano (00:58:12): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:58:12): It's not piling on.

Dano (00:58:15): We're not... No. No wellness around here.

Announcer (00:58:18): I hear he's a bed wetter.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:58:21): Seriously rather... That's a good question, Rob, that pencil that I threw at you now. So let's...

Dano (00:58:27): Back up so you can rehash the story please, Luke.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:58:30): And you can fill in the details as you remember them, Rob. We were at your house. We were kids, maybe 10, 11, 12 in there. And we played role playing games, including Dungeons and dragons. And we were arguing over something. Do you remember what we were arguing over?

Rob Collie (00:58:45): Yeah. Doesn't surprise me that you've forgotten.

Dano (00:58:54): Gee, what's he alluding to?

Rob Collie (00:58:55): See the mind flayer had its back turned, and everybody knows that it doesn't get its dex bonus onto hit when it's got its back turned. And my Fort team on the D20 was more than sufficient to hit the mind flayer and interrupt the mind drain that it was casting on the cleric.

Dano (00:59:13): Yeah.

Rob Collie (00:59:14): You said it still kept its dex bonus. And that was just, it just kind of escalated from there, didn't it?

Dano (00:59:20): Oh man.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:59:21): Boy, that memory isn't imprinted on your brain at all. Jesus.

Rob Collie (00:59:24): Yeah, not at all.

Luke Pirozzoli (00:59:25): Now, it's coming back to me and there was a violent act perpetrated by you. The way that you had your... Rob sharpened... He took pride in the sharpening of his pencils. Like they were all even, they were all like needle sharp, and all did I was just fling one of the pencils towards, unfortunately, your head almost gouging out your eye in the process.

Rob Collie (00:59:49): Yeah. I mean, the sharpness of those pencils might be a sign that maybe my problem started a little before. Rain Man obsession with those pencils.

Dano (01:00:00): Oh, I'm with you.

Rob Collie (01:00:02): Yeah. If I remember it, actually the lead of that pencil actually stuck just sort of beneath the surface skin.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:00:10): It did.

Rob Collie (01:00:10): To my eye. We were just like sitting there in shock, like, "Okay, that just happened."

Dano (01:00:15): Were you horribly scarred? You could no longer get dates. Women would run screaming from you because you were so horribly disfigured.

Dr. Glenn (01:00:22): Yeah. It looked like one of those gang tattoos with the tear drop.

Rob Collie (01:00:25): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've been trying to figure out my whole adult life where it all kind of went wrong. The therapists have gone through all the obvious candidates. Like my parents divorce, the death of a pet. That kind of thing. That never led anywhere. It always comes back to this. It comes back to this crucial moment in my formation and I never got an apology, or more importantly for the justice of it all, an acknowledgement that the mind flayer really should have taken that mace to the back of the head.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:01:02): It not about the injury. It's more about the game. That's how serious my friend Rob is about his gaming.

Dano (01:01:07): Hey, once a nerd, always a nerd.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:01:09): You're damn right.

Dano (01:01:09): And you own it. Own it.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:01:12): Yeah. Rob, I do want to take this time to...

Dano (01:01:14): Hold on. I think we need the appropriate violins, if you don't mind. Or maybe Lonely Man, Jimmy. If you wouldn't mind, Lonely Man would be the perfect bet music is... Luke, why you looking trite over there, man? Good for you.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:01:29): Well, this is a healing moment for all of us.

Dano (01:01:30): I can hear it. I know Rob is in need of it.

Rob Collie (01:01:33): If only I were there to see the look of contrition.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:01:36): Oh, you can go to a and click on the Love Doctor's webcam and see my ugly mug right in your face.

Dano (01:01:43): And you can see... Rob, you can see the remorse.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:01:49): Sponsored by...

Rob Collie (01:01:49): I'm going to have to get the recording of this. I'm not near a device at the moment.

Dano (01:01:55): That's all right. It'll be on a podcast for you.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:01:56): By the way, this apology on the webcam is sponsored by Tropical Auto Sales.

Dano (01:02:00): Thank you, Tropical Auto Sales. Hey, even our apologies we get paid for.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:02:04): That's right. Rob, I am so sorry that I almost destroyed your life.

Dano (01:02:11): Yeah.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:02:12): By throwing that pencil at your eye, I was really aiming for the other eye.

Dano (01:02:20): Nice, Luke.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:02:22): And I'm really sorry if after all this time... I didn't realize every time I moved my hand, you flinched. I mean, I know of the other psychological trauma that I've inflicted on you over the years. Nothing compares to this moment. And I just want to say that I'm truly sorry. I am really, truly sorry that I almost again destroyed you life.

Dano (01:02:49): Blinded him, blinded him.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:02:51): Blinded you.

Dr. Glenn (01:02:52): The man...

Dano (01:02:52): Oh, Rob, hang on, because yeah. I'll be honest with you. It wasn't enough for me, but yeah. Glen, what?

Dr. Glenn (01:02:58): The man, Luke... The man probably has never picked up a pencil for the rest of his life since that day.

Dano (01:03:05): Failed every Scantron test because of you. He's scared of them.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:03:08): That's not true. Rob. My friend Rob is a genius.

Dano (01:03:11): Yeah. He didn't...

Luke Pirozzoli (01:03:12): Wait, just real quick.

Dano (01:03:14): Think the answer. Go ahead.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:03:15): What was your triple major, Rob?

Rob Collie (01:03:17): Computer science, maths, and philosophy.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:03:21): Triple major y'all.

Dr. Glenn (01:03:22): Wow.

Dano (01:03:22): Okay.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:03:23): And he went to a very esteemed school.

Rob Collie (01:03:26): My parents bought me in with...

Dano (01:03:27): Good for you.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:03:30): You can ask Dr. Dre.

Rob Collie (01:03:32): Yeah.

Dano (01:03:34): I don't know. Rob, I could hear the remorseful tone, but I don't think it's enough. What are you willing to do for Rob? What would you like Luke to do for you, Rob?

Rob Collie (01:03:44): I think we need to replay that whole scenario. We need to relive it. They call it experiencing. It's a form of therapy.

Dano (01:03:51): Okay. All right. So you need to recreate.

Rob Collie (01:03:53): We need to reexperience that whole scenario in a safe place.

Dano (01:03:57): Yeah. Okay.

Rob Collie (01:03:58): Where I know that it's safe.

Dano (01:03:59): All right.

Rob Collie (01:04:00): We can arrange that at some point. I'm sure. But that's what needs to happen, I think.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:04:05): So does that mean I have to prevent myself from throwing the pencil at you or I have to throw it at you again?

Dano (01:04:09): No, I think you need to jam a pencil in your eye.

Dr. Glenn (01:04:12): Oh, there's not going to to be a pencil anywhere near that game if Rob has his way.

Dano (01:04:16): And a really sharp pencil.

Rob Collie (01:04:19): Yeah. Like we're in a padded room with nothing.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:04:25): Just think, Rob...

Rob Collie (01:04:26): Some missiles.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:04:26): How cool do people look with eye patches? Like you could have had a cool glass eye like Bill the Butcher in Gangs of New York or worn an eye patch.

Dano (01:04:33): Eye patches are cool, Rob. I'm sorry.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:04:35): Like Representative Crenshaw. He looks cool as hell.

Dano (01:04:37): He's kind of a badass just by the look. Does that make you feel better, Luke? When you tell him that?

Luke Pirozzoli (01:04:42): Oh, he would've looked badass with a patch or a glass eye.

Dano (01:04:45): And a fake eye. Does that make you feel better for what you did to this guy?

Dr. Glenn (01:04:48): Yes.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:04:50): I might gouge my own eye out just so I can have a patch.

Dano (01:04:53): I think you need to. You know how they say fall on the sword. I think you need to put a pencil in your eye and just fall forward, stiff as a board, and let it hit the floor.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:05:00): All right. We'll do it on Facebook Live.

Dano (01:05:03): When we get around to it.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:05:04): Yeah. Sometime.

Dano (01:05:05): All right, Rob. My deepest and sincerest apologies for Luke's actions 25 years ago, 30 years ago. I'm sorry.

Rob Collie (01:05:12): Well, it means so much coming from you.

Dano (01:05:13): Thank you, Rob. Thank you so much.

Dr. Glenn (01:05:15): Yeah, we have to apologize for our cohorts behavior, man. That's what it's come down to.

Dano (01:05:20): I mean, right off the bat, Rob knows I would've been a better friend. Shame on you.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:05:23): He's only been on the phone with you for nine minutes, and you're already a better friend.

Dano (01:05:27): That's true. This is true.

Dr. Glenn (01:05:29): Rob, call me anytime, man. We'll get together for beers.

Rob Collie (01:05:33): What are you doing next Thursday?

Dano (01:05:36): I'll be here for a while, but I'll have Luke drive me to our location.

Rob Collie (01:05:40): Sounds great.

Dano (01:05:41): Okay. He can dictate our entire conversation in sharp pencil. That's a beautiful thing.

Rob Collie (01:05:48): Thank you so much for facilitating this intervention.

Dano (01:05:51): Yeah. What we had here, Rob, is a moment of closure.

Rob Collie (01:05:55): Yeah, it was touching.

Dr. Glenn (01:05:57): It was.

Rob Collie (01:05:57): I feel touched.

Dano (01:05:57): I'm touched.

Rob Collie (01:05:57): Do you feel touched?

Dano (01:06:00): I do. I always feel touched. You should feel me at seven o'clock.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:02): I'm touching myself right now, Rob.

Dr. Glenn (01:06:03): People tell me I'm touched all the time.

Dano (01:06:05): No, you definitely... He is definitely touched.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:08): Explains a lot of my behavior.

Dano (01:06:10): Rob, you can make a case study out of this guy.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:14): Rob, it was good to hear from me again. I'll give you a buzz sometime over the next couple of days.

Rob Collie (01:06:20): Sounds good, man.

Dano (01:06:21): Take care, Rob. Thanks for the story. And again, I'm sorry.

Dr. Glenn (01:06:24): God, we have to apologize for him.

Dano (01:06:27): Awful. I bet... Yeah, what?

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:28): I thought that went well.

Dr. Glenn (01:06:29): I think so too.

Dano (01:06:29): Well, for you, maybe.

Dr. Glenn (01:06:31): I hope he feels better.

Dano (01:06:32): Yeah. He's still getting the night tremors.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:34): I'm telling you that dude is a frigging genius.

Dano (01:06:36): I don't doubt it.

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:37): I think he got like 1550 on his SATs. Yeah, it was ridiculous.

Dano (01:06:43): What?

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:43): Yeah, it was... That guy is amazing.

Rob Collie (01:06:44): Hey look, did you leave the part in about my amazing SAT scores?

Luke Pirozzoli (01:06:47): Oh, oh, of course, I did.

Rob Collie (01:06:49): That's my man. There's an achievement that means absolutely nothing.

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